The Day I Needed to Chill the F*ck Out!

You know those days where everything looks like it is going to go smoothly, your schedule is well planned out, you’ve given yourself time to get places and do what needs to be done, and the day ahead is looking as bright as the sun? You are excited about the day ahead because nothing seems impossible and obstacles are so far out of reach, because you planned it that way, that you feel unstoppable before anything in your day actually gets going.

But then it happens…moment by moment the day starts to crumble and it happens so fast that you barley have time to think about how it all started to fall apart. In shock, frustration, and dismay you think (or yell), “Why in the world is this happening? Of all the days why is it this day?” You then go from skipping to stomping around like there are giant bugs beneath your feet.  Instead of gracefully moving through your day you are grabbing, throwing, and tossing everything around.

This happened to me not all that long ago. Here I was thinking it was going to be the most perfect day. I was so excited I even had a theme song for my day that I listened to that morning. I played Best Day of My Life by American Authors while dancing through my house getting ready. I was smiling, excited, light hearted, no worries, no anxiety, just pure bliss.

Dance, Background, Funny, Stick Figure

As I was dancing and singing through my morning I noticed things starting to unfold and that is when it all started to happen. When I say “all” I mean ALL the things that in my perfect day where not supposed to happen, happened.

The not so best day of my life ensues…

I did my morning workout and moved slightly wrong (hasn’t happened since I started working out years and years ago) and I tweaked my back enough to feel stuck and not so happy. Then I hear an unexpected guest at the door who I thought was coming over later in the day. Here I go rushing my dogs into another room since this nice woman is afraid of dogs and boy can they tell. I then spill my coffee all over the place and have to clean that up.

Now I am starting to run late! I hate being late and I am 15 minutes behind schedule at this point. I go to turn on my computer and it is doing a system back up and restart, ”Oh of course you backup and restart now. Of course!”. Then I try to pop into my email on my phone to start updating people that I will be late and guess what? I am no longer connected to the internet. “Seriously! Isn’t the internet as available as air?” “Quick Erin, think! Try to reset it quickly, that doesn’t always take long!”

I hobbled as quick as I could to the other side of the house to reset the internet connection then I tried connecting my computer directly into the internet connection “Crap! Nothing!” Sitting in despair with my hands clinching the hair on top of my head as I brainstorm it comes to me, “Oh I know! Try Ethan’s computer! Maybe it is my computer not the internet.” With new hope I stumbled through to find his computer. As fast as I could I quickly took the same steps as I did with my own.

“FUUUUU!!! Okay, I am just going to go out as I am to a coffee shop and connect to the internet to do what I need to, find directions, go to my meetings and just own this look of…whatever look this is”. I jump in the car, as clumsy as that was with my hurting back, and drove on.

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The lunatic shows up…

Now I am normally a pretty calm driver. I don’t get fired up with road rage easily (probably because I am early or just on time most days). But not today! I was this evil woman yelling at stop lights, people in cars as if it is their fault I was late, cursing up a storm, and flipping people off. I was a complete lunatic! I had no idea who I was at this point but there was no stopping it. I was this ball of anger that could no longer think rationally.

I park in the closest coffee shop parking lot, grab hold of the steering wheel with all my might, shake it and scream as loud as I could. After throwing my very childlike adult tantrum I take a deep breath and say, “Okay crazy, get it together! You let it out, you had a rough start, now move on and do what you can or just….just whatever…you’ll figure it out, you always do.”

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Owning up to my Perfectly Imperfect self

Let me interrupt here by saying how embarrassing this is to share with all of you. This is not a side of myself I see often. In fact I can’t tell you the last time I actually went all out crazy and shocked myself like this. But the truth is it happened, not my favorite side of myself but it happened. I share this because in my opinion everyone goes through this once in a while and you know what? That is okay! I didn’t like seeing myself this way but it felt good to get it out so I could move on.

Okay, back to the story…

I walk into this coffee shop, plop down heavily into my chair and connect to the internet. Guess what I found, emails asking to be rescheduled later in the day or another day that week. I feel myself getting hot but then think “see it is all figuring itself out just go with it.” Unfortunately things didn’t stop here.

I went to my Doctor’s office for my prescription that is 30 minutes away from where I was and they are closed….closed just moments before I got there. I feel hot again. I drive back home thinking of how I wasted 40 minutes on the road for nothing.

I get home and decide to call our internet provider to fix the internet connection. After being on the phone for over an hour I was disconnected from the person on the line, called back again waited 15 minutes, was disconnected again, and then I called it. I looked at my husband, threw my hands up in the air and yelled “THAT’S IT I FORFEIT TODAY!” He hugged me and said he would deal with the internet company. Of course less than 30 minutes later he gets it all taken care of, of course!

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The next brink of looney starts creeping up again…

While I was feeling myself on the brink of going looney again I text my friend Alicia for help. I had no desire to act full on crazy again in front of my husband. She is great at grounding me and knows what I need to hear. She told me to go outside and play with my dogs, find any other kind of nature outside and sit there with it. She also said, “I have been working on something that I will bring to you tomorrow when we meet up because I think will help.”

Another day another chance…

The next day I met up at a coffee shop and she said “okay listen to this right now. It is a meditation I created called Chill the F*ck Out!” Tell me what you think and if it helps. Without a thought I instantly grabbed her recorder and headphones and listened. It was AMAZING and just what I needed. It was just under 6 minutes long but felt much less. We were in the middle of a busy bustling coffee shop and I felt like I was in a quiet calm world that was all to myself. It was the perfect escape that got my body relaxed and mind to finally shut up.

Had I listened to it yesterday as things got out of control I would have saved people from facing the wrath of Erin which they had nothing to do with (sorry if it happened to be you on the road that day!), my own embarrassment for just jumping out of my skin in pure angry emotion, lowered the amount of stress hormones swarming through my body with vengeance, and most importantly saved my energy to do things that really mattered and made a difference.

Woman, Girl, Freedom, Happy, Sun

Because Alicia’s meditation made such a difference in my mood and outlook I thought you too NEEDED the opportunity to own this so you can have it easily accessible and ready to play at a moment’s notice.

So here you have it! Access to your very own Chill the F*ck Out! Meditation created by my dear friend Alicia . You can click the link or image for access.

Chill the...

 

 

 

 

 

Trust me you and everyone else around you will be thankful you have it!

A little insight to my crazy…

I started off my day so bright and ready to go. How in the world did it all go so wrong so quickly?

Simply put, expectations! That is the actual reason why my “perfectly planned out day” unraveled and fell apart. This is also why it got to me so bad. I had everything mapped out so “perfectly” that I wasn’t able to or willing to go with the flow and be flexible as the day went on. As things happened I wasn’t embracing the fact that you just have to go with it with as much grace as possible. Not throwing an adult temper tantrum ALL DAY! Seriously I was mess.

Lessons learned:

Just a little insight to next week…

Next week we have a special guest! My friend Dr. Jillian Sarno-Teta with Fix Your Digestion. She will be discussing Gluten Sensitivity and Celiac Disease and how they impact you, your womb baby, and newborn.

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