Today I was talking to my mom about motivation. “Where does it need to come from?” is often the biggest question many of us ask ourselves. Do we need to get this from our family, friends, co-workers, supervisors, personal trainers, therapists, pets, etc…? Are we even supposed to expect this from others?
The answer to where we need to get motivation is, ourselves! If we are going to change anything in our lives the motivation must come from within. What we should hope for and get from those who truly want the best for us is support rather than motivation.
You see motivation is the reason or reasons we have for our actions and behaviors. Support on the other hand, enables actions and gives assistance.
Many of us, me included, have mistaken one from the other at some point in our lives. It may still be happening for some of us even now. It’s okay, there is no judgment. We all go through it or have.
Why does motivation have to come from ourselves? Well for one, humans are funny creatures because if it does not match up with our own ideas or wants in the first place it takes just a bit more convincing. If someone else keeps trying to drive motivation in a direction we are not ready for it becomes overwhelming, adds to stress, and we can even become rebellious. We all want and need a say when it comes to what happens in our lives. At any age no one likes to be told what to do not matter what it is.
If there is something in your life you feel you should or kind of want to change but not ready for, that is okay! Acknowledge this; accept it and when the time is right the next step will come.
Here are a few avenues we can take to help ourselves get more motivated:
- Only work on 1 change at time!!!! This is crucial to keep in mind. Habits don’t take place over night and changing habits don’t either.
- Write down a pros and cons list of YOUR OWN reasons to change and reasons not to change.
- Note the sacrifices that may take place to get to any given outcome if you make a change or not.
- Write down why you prefer your current action over an alternative and what would make the alternative worth it.
- Rank your reasons for your current action and its importance to keep it the way it is. Rank your reasons for the alternative action and its importance.
- Be very proud of yourself for every step whether it be a tip toe or giant stride you are taking to work towards your desired change. Each one will move you forward in the direction you want to go.
- If those around you want to help. Let them know how to best SUPPORT you rather than motivate you.
Remember, motivation must come from within. Sometimes we just need to sit back and give it some thought to know what our motivators are and WHY.